# The Confidence to Act ### Notes * Courage is not the ability to overcome fear or anxiety. It is the ability *to execute* even when those feelings or emotions are present. * Awareness around our own narratives: * When you are going through a challenging, fearful situation, it is helpful to remind yourself of *what you have already managed to survive*! In my case that may be being faced with 100k+ of debt and overwhelm, with not idea what field to pursue. I managed to get through that and come out the other side. If I can do that, I can do anything. * There are three mind sets: * **Positive**: When we feel good and we’re confident * **Negative**: We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, we’re a fraud, or we don’t deserve this * **No Mind**: We have no story because we are 100% focused on the task at hand. * The work that we need to do is recognize when you are in a negative mind, and think about how you can get to a positive mind. You can't go from a negative mind to no mind, but you can go from a positive mind to no mind. When you are in a negative mind, as yourself what thoughts will get you over to the positive mind. These thoughts will have to be *earned*. You may be able to fake it til you make it with other people, but that doesn't work with ourselves! You have to put in the work to make your talk credible and realistic. > Think about putting in the hard work as earning the right to be positive. * What are the hardest things that I have overcome: * +100K debt, living on a different continent than Dom, being in a graduate program that I hated, and not sure what step to take next to ensure that Dom and I would be set up to live the life we wanted * At this point, I have earned the right to be positive! * To change your thoughts from negative to positive: 1. Recognize where you are. 2. Identify the thoughts. Ask yourself if they're true and to what extent they are true. 3. Remind yourself of something you did successfully to turn on your positive brain. 4. Repeat. * A disciplined mind isn't given to you by default. It is earned. You have to do the work. * We will finally arrive at the moment when we go from choosing to acting * No matter what, we can always access our breath. In high stress situations our focus narrows to only the most relevant information for fighting or running. We begin to take short rapid breathes. Every breathing state has an emotional state, and everything emotional state has a breathing state. If we can improve one we can improve the other. A large number of studies have shown that diaphragmatic breathing improves attention and cortisol levels. * One exercise: * Breathe into your diaphragm (i.e. inflate your stomach, not your chest) * Box Breathing * Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds. Then repeat.